Alone.. But Not Really

Is it possible that God has purposely given us absolutely no one in this world that will understand certain circumstances that we go through so that we have no one to turn to but Him? No words to lift us up, but His? No arms that could catch our weight, but His? No eyes that see past our smile, but His? No ears that hear our silent cry, but His? 

I know you're there. 

Hear my cry, oh God.

Take my hand and walk me home.

Remind me that I am yours, and no one elses.

Pull me close, I want to hear your voice.

The Gift I Never Knew I Wanted

It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, He had His eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose He is working out in everything and everyone. // Ephesians 1:11 MSG

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Growing up I always knew I was different. I had eyes that saw beyond color and a heart that felt everything around me. I felt touch from across the room and heard words that were never physically spoken. I felt like I was alone. As if no one was ever going to understand me. 

All of this was way before I was a Christian, but not too much has changed. Here I stand now, a follower of Jesus Christ, and I still look so deeply into the hearts of those around me. 

Who am I? Is this a gift? If so, why me?

I have such a desire to know people. I want to know how you feel about life from the minute you wake up, until you rest your head. I want to know your greatest fear so that we can tackle it together. I want to know the biggest craving of your heart so that I can help you find it. I want to know the feeling you get when your finger tips gracefully touch the person you love. I want to know where your mind wanders off to when you are surrounded by a crowd, yet lost in your own world. Are you hurting? Let's find the root of the issue. I just want to see everyone smile. I want everyone to enjoy life...

So what does this mean for me? Many sleepless nights, heartache, sacrifice, and at times a restless heart. If I had to be completely honest, there have been times where I stop and question God. "God, is this really what you want from me? Do you actually think I'm strong enough for this? What about my heart? When do I get a break?" It's not that I don't enjoy knowing so many hearts and being used by God to help heal, but this is something that takes so much energy out of me after time. You see, I don't just hear your heart, I feel it too. I'm constantly going through different emotions that sometimes I don't even know how to handle, BUT GOD does. And this is where I find my rest. 

He knows when I need a break. He knows my true strength and will never overload me. Through it all, I wouldn't choose another way of life. I love getting to know the hearts around me and I LOVE seeing God move mountains in their lives. I'm simply a bridge to God's work. I was called to be obedient in this matter and I find much joy in that. What He saw in me that made Him choose me, I'll never know, but I am forever grateful.

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I get to see people's hearts. I get to sympathize with them. I get to see God work.

THIS is my life. This is who I am. 

Araceli Janette Tijerina, 24 years of age, with eyes that see past the obvious and deep into the most important part of what makes up our identity. I am gifted with a loving, nurturing, and understanding heart. I am a missionary, I am a daughter to the Father most high, I am a dreamer, a friend. 

The most beautiful part of my identity;  God's not finished with it yet. 

On the days where I might question "what about my heart?", He reminds me of the promise He has for me... "I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." Jeremiah 29:11 MSG

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When we hear His voice gently whispering to us our calling and identity, nothing amounts to it's beauty. We have a purpose, each and every one of us. How beautiful ! Lets share it with the nations and bring all the lost and broken souls back to Christ ! If you haven't heard His whisper yet, I encourage you to quiet the noise around you, I promise He's speaking into your heart. 

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"Give away your life; you'll find life given back, but not merely given back - given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity." Luke 6:38 MSG

Prayer request:

Pray that I continue to be obedient even when it hurts. That I never lose faith in the plans He has for me. Pray that my heart never hardens towards the hearts of others. 

I love this life. 

Lunch Break

Don't you just love when God comes to your rescue at the perfect time? Not before trouble hits your heart, not after you've given up, but right when you've reached your limit of patience with no where else to hide your frustrations and.... there He is. With arms stretched out wide, "come daughter, let me bring you peace". He reminds me that though I was about ready to give up on this day, I made it to the peak of my limit without hurting anyone's heart in return. 

I made it, and now it's His turn to take over. 

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Ready to give up, I open my Bible at my desk and instantly, literally, He turns my attention to Proverbs 3:27. I take a deep breath, accept His word and move on through my studies. He then leads me to Colossians 3:12-14 which is where He began to calm me down by reminding me of my identity in Him. I am being reminded of the new heart He Gifted me with after being saved. It's a kind heart, though I feel kindness was always a trait my character held, my HEART wasn't always kind in a way that represented God. 

The verses read:

Colossians 3:12-14

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. 

And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. 

-The Message

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He's always there at the perfect time. Never leaving me with opportunity to fail or return to my old heart. Always there to make me see my success in the midst of a mess. 

He is my perfect cheerleader. 

On with the day ! :)